Nice isn't weak

Did you ever think about the term ‘civilization’ – the beginning of the word says a lot – Civil: the dictionary describes it as” Having the manners of one dwelling in a city, as opposed to those of savages or rustics; polite; courteous; complaisant; affable” – do you get the feeling that a lot of that is missing from today’s society?

If you know me well – and I hope you all do know me – you will know that one of my pettest hates is the “Me first and sod you” attitude of many people today. I know it was ever thus but it feels as though the attitude is pervading many levels of our society to a greater and more entrenched manner then it has for years.

I know that most of you will be shaking your heads and saying “This man calls himself an anarchist but when the effects of anarchy rear their heads he runs away like a little liberal” but I have always believed that it is necessary for us all to find ways to live together, fiercely independent but considerate of ‘the other guy’s’ needs as well as our own: it isn’t necessary  to be a doormat for every damaged and sad individual on the planet but what I cannot abide is the lack of consideration for any other party.

The recent riots are an example of the problem – extreme but valid – as large numbers of people from all strata of society took to the streets to get the things that they felt they were ‘entitled to’ whether they had any claim to them or not.

I don’t think it makes sense to put it down to ‘Capitalism’ because a lot of the culture of “I Know my rights” has come from liberal and socialist traits of worshipping the individual and the dichotomy of the ‘Big State’ versus the ‘Cult of the individual’ is that all individuals feel that they are apart from the lumpen masses and so rules that apply to the masses don’t apply to them.  

There are many little but noticeable examples as well and a large number of them found on the roads. The person who shoots on to the roundabout and forces you to slam on the brakes because they are far more important than you are – generally if you flash them to tell them you are there you will receive one finger or two as a reward – or the car that holds up a stream of traffic waiting for someone top ‘pop into the shop’ because they can’t be bothered to go and park – word to the wise chaps, those flashing hazard lights don’t help: when the passenger gets back you will find an incensed stream of traffic behind you! You could cite the cyclist who swings up on to the pavement to avoid red lights or simply ignores the traffic and shoots through oblivious to, or uncaring of, the traffic they are crossing in front of and who will inevitably blame the driver that hits them for the accident. Often the worst examples are of the pedestrian who wanders into the road, intent on their mobile phone, giving a mouthful to any hapless driver/motorcyclist/cyclist who has to take avoiding action.

Ever been waiting patiently in a queue only to find someone barging in or been in a train carriage with a chap/ette eating an extremely garlicky kebab or with a bloke shouting into a mobile, warning he is going to lose signal any second? Not one of these people would have the common decency to be ashamed at their actions if you were to tell them off for it – more likely you will be instructed where to get off and be offered the suggestion that you are of questionable parentage or habits.

I really am asking the question “Why can’t we just consider each other before we do something offensive?”

Another example of this breakdown in politeness and the friction as we rub against each other is the abuse of and ignoring of disabled badges – for obvious reasons something that is close to my heart.

The number of people who have no right to a blue badge of their own yet have one as a carer for another person that is disabled is commendable but the abuse is simply incredible. I cite a few examples:

East Finchley tube has three disabled bays – the only three bays out of approx. 300 bays in the car park and the three bays closest to the station, at the foot of a relatively steep slope. Every morning the same gold Mercedes is parked in one of the bays, displaying a badge, and every morning one can see the proprietor of the sweet shop running back and forth to bring stock across to his shop – one third of a very scarce commodity misused and if you ask him about it, as I have, his only response is “I’m bloody entitled”. The response of the car park attendant is no more helpful “He’s got a badge – it’s not my job to check” – whose job is it do you think (answers on a postcard to TFL but don’t hold your breath waiting).

Another example – how many disabled people do you know who could get in and out of a Lotus Elise? Yet there is one that is regularly parked in Edgware with a blue badge in the window.

Mind, these pale into insignificance behind the disabled bay near Leicester Square that is reserved for a particular resident of the area and that is instantly leapt on by the wardens should anyone actually park there with a badge – the driver in question has been dead for eight years! Not only is the system abused by an uncaring local council but it is cited as an available bay in the area and so makes up part of the quota for the area – that and the bays that have skips parked on them or are in side streets that are blocked off due to Crossrail or other roadworks.

We don’t all have to be nicey-nicey to one another but if the readers of this blog pass the message out that a little consideration for others is a good thing, then maybe we can get a little movement towards a society that actually does try to avoid conflict – it is the only way that civil-ization actually works!